Memories...sweet sweet memories...of days gone by. My heart is heavy, I just want to slump down in a corner and cry...my stubbornness won't let me do that. I feel like walking out right now...Even into the unknown. All my things with me, but where will I go. The weight of stress is upon me, heavily shown on my brow. If my decisions should cause everyone I love to fall away, even still the one who loves me will never fall away. I am His BELOVED and He is my desire. If all else should fail me, He WILL not. Oh how Jesus loves me, even in my mess, how he loves me. I know He loves. Maybe on that lonely beaten road He will meet me halfway to take me home to that sweet home. It's still going to be a blessed day

I will not yield to uncertainty, nor be afraid of the unknown. Instead, I will walk above all waters whether raging or calm. Staring in the eyes of all my giants, I will declare to them, before the sun sets they will all be at my feet.

Do you rest in bed at night and wandering off in thought, you begin to rest your mind. Your heart seeking after something greater than anything this world could ever offer. Reaching out for that which is not of this realm. You desire to find and dwell in that hidden place; a place where time becomes eternity and age becomes everlasting life. Deep down inside maybe everyone feels it, but only some truly believe it exists.

I don't always make the best choices, but every decision I make I talk it over with my heavenly father, sometimes we talk about one thing for days, weeks even. My father knows me and I know my father. He knows what's in my heart, I cannot keep anything from Him. He advises me carefully on everything, and is often blatantly honest with me on certain matters. So, to keep something locked away in my heart breaks both our hearts because if it matters to me than it matters to him also.

This is purely hypothetical, but if having a pure consciousness of being the father's BELOVED, makes me all the more complete. I guess after understanding this, the desire for companionship is no longer self consuming. However, is more an intimate level personally focused ministry, for lack of a better word. Saying that in a relationship you no longer belong to yourself, but now you will have walked into someone Else's life someone Else's existence. Having been self concerned is no longer evident. The desire to share your relationship as being God's beloved, is now first priority. Such a spiritual need between 2 people.

The pathway to love is not simple, one does not tread carelessly upon a smooth path, nor stroll mindlessly through flowering meadows. With each moment that love began in ones heart, it is as cascading waters, a mighty torrent this love. To walk into it is purely physical; yet, emotionally the heart plunges full force. How can one stop from falling head first.

I long for your presence, sweet Jesus. I seek your loveliness day and night. Your strong and warm loving embrace, does melt all my troubles away. How I would rather be lost in you forever.

While I was sitting in bed this morning I started thinking, I said to myself you know what, "A lot of the world is expecting that when a person becomes a christian they should have behaviour modification. Yet, God is looking for heart transformation. What God sees growing on the inside of you is greater than what the world sees left on the outside of you. Don't worry, it takes a little time to grow into this new creature, but you WILL get there. Amen!

I cannot explain the way I'm feeling, these emotions are obtrusive to my heart, but it's my fault for opening the door to them. Yet, even still what will they render to me? And, how does it benefit me to keep them locked away, they would certainly eat at my heart and my soul. However, the chains are broken and they are set free, and look! This pillage left done to me, have raped me of my joy, such audacity. How can one rest with such a tormentor, it has become a thorn in my side; indeed, alone I cannot overcome it. Therefore, I receive such an abundance of grace to combat, even overcome such a tormentor.